Dandelions
by Falco aesalon
Summary: A little mischief goes a long way. Boys will be boys, even if they're over 100 years old. Post-Breaking Dawn, Renesme physically 6 years old, normal pairings. Formerly Cullenary Madness. Now a one-shot due to lack of ideas and motivation.


Disclaimer: I don't own these characters, nor I don't make any money from this. Too bad, so sad.

I owe my mom one. If she hadn't made me help her pull dandelions, I never would have gotten the idea for this story. Besides all that…

Carlisle was at work. The girls (Esme, Rosalie, Alice, Bella and Nessie) were on a shopping spree at the mall. And Edward, Jasper, Emmett, and Jacob were stuck at home with nothing to do.

…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

"I'm bored."

"For the last time, Jacob Black, SHUT UP!" growled Edward.

Jacob rolled his eyes. "Fine, but you don't have to be so rude about it."

"Edward wouldn't be so irritated if you weren't thinking what you're thinking," said Jasper

"Hey, I thought you couldn't read minds!"

"I could feel the lust coming off of you, so I had a pretty good guess."

..........awkward silence……….awkward silence……….awkward silence….......awkward silence……….

"Why don't we play a game?"

"Alright, _mongrel_, what kind of game?" asked Edward.

"Uh…how 'bout…uh...wrestling?"

"That sounds great!" exclaimed Emmett. "Living room, five minutes, Jacob in wolf-form!"

"But what about-"

"Don't be such a party pooper, Edward! It'll be fun!"

"Well, it's something to do," said Jasper.

"Oh, all right," sighed Edward.

…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

Ten minutes later, Edward and Jasper were ready. Emmett was face to snout with Jacob-the Wolf.

"On the count of three! ONE, TWO, THREE, GO!" shouted Emmett.

Jacob lunged for Emmett, who sidestepped the attack. Jacob went crashing into the coffee table, picked himself up, grabbed Emmett, and threw the vampire. Unfortunately, Jacob threw Emmett too hard, so Emmett flew through the wall, into the dining room, overturned the fancy dining table, and hit the other wall. When Emmett got up, there was a large dent in the wall. At the same time, Edward tackled Jasper, and the two rolled through the wall and into the yard.

…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

"Aw no, Esme's gonna kill us!"

"Oh c'mon, Jazz, she's not seriously going to kill us. It's nothing that can't be fixed, and besides, it was worth it!" Jacob had resumed his human form.

"No, Jacob. Esme _is_ going to kill us because _you_ wrecked her favorite painting."

"So what? She can buy another, can't she?"

"Carlisle gave that painting to her for their first anniversary."

"You should talk! You and Edward busted a huge hole in the wall-"

"Boys, we're back!" Esme hadn't shouted it, but they all had supernatural hearing.

(The words Jasper said at this point have been removed as they are inappropriate)

"JASPER HALE! DID YOU JUST SAY WHAT I THINK YOU SAID?!" Esme walked into the living room, which was the quickest way to get to the dining room. "BOYS! YOU GET OVER HERE, THIS INSTANT!"

"Yes, Esme? You called?" said Emmett in a sweet, innocent voice.

"I MOST CERTAINLY DID! WOULD ANY OF YOU CARE TO EXPLAIN_THIS?"_ Esme gestured to the wreckage.

"Oh, yes. Thatwould be the result of Emmett and Jacob wrestling in this room," said Edward, as though this happened every day.

"AND _THIS_?" Esme gestured to the gaping hole in the wall.

"Oh yeah, Edward and Jasper did that," said Jacob.

A wave of calm swept over them.

"Thank you, Jasper, but this does not lighten your punishment what-so-ever. The four of you will clean this up and help me fix the walls. Then, you will pull _all _the dandelions from the yard at human speed. You will continue until you are finished."

"So, that means we don't have to go to school?"

"Of course you will be going to school, Jacob. You will do homework and pull dandelions during your free time."

…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

"For the last time, Jacob Black! Quit complaining!"

"Well, _Edward_, it's your fault we got into this in the first place. If you hadn't told Esme-"

"It was _your_ idea in the first place."

"No, Emmett's the one who suggested we wrestle in the living room!"

"It's still your own fault! If you hadn't thrown Emmett through the wall-"

"You and Jasper made that other hole-"

"At least _I_ didn't ruin Esme's favorite painting."

"Stupid blood-sucker."

"Dog."

"Leech."

"Mongrel."

"Parasite."

"Mutt."

"Just shut up! You're killing me with your negative emotions!"

"Don't you _dare_ try to calm me down, Jasper!"

"Gosh, Jacob, I'm sorry for trying. But it would better if you didn't transform here and now."

"Yeah," Emmett said, "I don't think Nessie would appreciate it you killed her father."

………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….

"Wow, there's gotta be at least a million dandelions!" Emmett exclaimed.

"A million and one." Jasper pulled another.

"Hey, guys! I think that was the last one!"

"Wow, Jacob. As much as I hate to admit it, you're right for once." said Edward.

"If I never see another dandelion, it'll be too soon."

'And for once, I agree."

…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

Edward was playing the piano. Jasper, Emmett, and Jacob were playing a video game. Bella and Nessie had just gotten home from the park.

"Hi, Jacob! These are for you!" Nessie deposited a pile of dandelions on Jacob's lap. "And these are for you, Daddy!" Nessie held out more dandelions for Edward.

"Uh, thank you Renesme."

Yay, Jacob thought. More dandelions.

"Boy, are you right, Jacob," said Edward in response to Jacob's thoughts.


End file.
